Monday, January 16, 2006

when i look at the mirror, i really have to laugh at myself.

yes. myself. a dumb ass all these while.

why am i so disturbed at that period of time when i'm already loooong out of someone else's mind? why is it that once in a while i will still think of the past even though i told myself everything is over and its a new year with a new start for me? why do i bother to take down the blame when others ask me what happened?

perhaps thru this i've discovered the emotional part of myself which i never knew it existed.

why you don't dare to face me today? why drop my laptop bag at my office guard room but don't want me to come down and collect from you personally? thats sooooo unlike yourself! you know what? its always the little things you do that gives you away. afraid that i'll see someone? afraid that i'll see you together with your someone's red car? afraid that i'll find out what you told me all the way are just lies that you trying to cover up with more things that i shouldn't know? guilt? anymore more things that i should know but dunno? i believe there are.. well, congrats to you and your new beau.

afraid that i'll empty your money by cancelling the sup card without telling me? don't worry, i'm a man of integrity. i have my own cards and don't need to use yours! you can just tell me that you want your card back and i'll gladly send it back to you by post (since you don't want to meet me what). oh i forgot, you already cancelled them so i'll just cut into two and throw into dustbin. i shall save 23cents and an envelope.

i don't care if you read my blog anymore or not. i don't give a damm of what you may protest against what i said here. anyway if you want to revenge, well done! you have done it as i have my shitty period.. however, sorry, i can't be bothered anymore. haha!

you already wanted to make it a clear cut between us then i shall make the cut even clearer:

you are you. i am i. period.

thank you very much. my mind is finally freed today.

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