wat a thursday..... and i'm surfing net the whole day? nvm.... -.-"

anyway tomolo may go for chalet, proudly organised by buang.... wanted to organise one for the HAWKers but the idea was called off due to insufficient logistics support + effort... anyway buang say he can let us have a nite at the chalet while he and his friends have the other 2 nites... so why not?

maybe its a good thing also.... let mi clear my mind... too confused + troubled by many things now....

juz received a sms saying that the chalet is called off due to insufficient people. kaozzzzz... everyone so bz meh?

i dunno why but all these while, esp starting from the week i finish my IA, every week i sure to kena 2 aeroplanes at least. its the 4th week liao and i got at least 8 aeroplanes! do i look like an aeroplane collector to all? why izit tat i'm always the one collecting? why izit tat pple like to give mi so many aeroplanes? sometimes i'm thinking if i am realli tat un-important in all your eyes that its alrite to forgo mi? why mi? do i look like the sort of person tat is always so kind to say "its alrite... dun worry abt mi... i'll have lots of programs to substitute..."

i treat every date/appointment/outing seriously and i'll make sure i can go for it before i accept it or suggest it. some of the dates i will even anticipate it... counting down for it, hoping tat it will arrive soon... why ask mi to go out when you all are not interested in the first place? why suggest in the first place? why treat me as an idiot, a fool? i understand how it feels like to be kena given an aeroplane... the whole day is like kena soiled if the appt is cancelled. but why izit tat you dun feel it this way? yah u all are bz pple.... always have programmes readily available, i even have to book a date in advance and have to wait for a week or two.... whereas for mi i'm always so free... so when u all need someone to fill up ur empty slot and absolutely cannot find someone to do tat u all will ask mi, knowing tat i'm always readily available. but when u all managed to find something to do, my name will be immediately erased from the slot.... postpone after postpone, cancel after cancel.... i'll only say "nvm, u go ahead then... " is this what i deserve by treasuring the relationship and hoping that something can come out of it?

i feel tired....