although i'm trying my very best to stay as positive as possible, there are times where i still feel very demoralised deep in my heart.

few things i blame and i've learnt:
a) i blame myself for the wrong steps taken. really, people are visual creatures and they will forever judge you from your history coz its the most visible, ie what you done before will determine what you will do later.
b) i blame myself for listening to others. just when i thought others can offer me advices from a more neutral ground, their advices are nothing more than just lousy suggestions.
c) i blame my family for not being as successful as i wanted them to be. well not really blame but just disappointed that why didn't my family have a business where i can fall back on in times of crisis? i don;t want history to repeat to my descendants where they in-turn will blame me for not doing anything as well. i must make history.

ok just some of my rantings after a demoralising day...