just now after work supposed to meet up with a financial advisor (my fren's fren) at jurong east. i dun really like to entertain financial planners/advisors but as a kind gesture for my friend i agreed.

10 mins passed the meeting time and not a single call or sms from the other party. i sms back just in case she lost my contact number or what and till now i did not receive a single reply from her...

its the 2nd time she stood me up.

did i talk about the 1st time she stood me up? pardon me if i did as i really got goldfish memory. anyway the first time when i'm supposed to meet her she called me up 1.5hrs before the meeting time to postpone the appointment. and well done because of her i missed out the euphoria 2004 as i wanted to hang around the area near the padang to listen to the concert! idiot! ok... i gave her the 2nd chance and well again... this time was worst as not a single sms/call in advance that this meeting was cancelled. as a financial planner i suppose one crucial point is punctuality. if u are soooo busy and can forget about my appointment then i suppose u can forget about making $$$ from me then... also after these two incidents, how on mother earth are you going to give me the confidence to entrust you to invest my hard-earned money?

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after my usual evening jog, as usual i'll sit around the bus stop to take a break to cool myself down. i suddenly remembered that my g-shock has got the countdown timer so i decided to play with it, that was to set the date as my birthday, as in the actual year i was born and see how many days i've lived on this mother earth.

guess what?

i've been alive for 9131 days till today! =)

so fast tomorrow is my 25th birthday. still remember when i was very much younger, probably in my primary school days, i always looked forward to my birthday. not because i got birthday parties waiting for me or what, but probably its just that its my birthday, its a special day to me! i'll even countdown to my birthday every year! anyway nobody know its my birthday so i never have a proper birthday party... except for photos kept in my grandma house of me celebrating birthday with my cousins and relatives... i'm not sad at that time. i only envy. i envy that others have birthday parties while i don't. i dun hate my parents for that as i knew that we were not that rich as parties are for those who are rich and with alot of friends. i dun have that many friends also so its alrite for me... as least i still got presents from my parents + a little treat at fast food restaurants... and i'm very much contented as a little boy then..

as i slowly grow up and into secondary school and junior college, birthday is just another ordinary day for me. i still have to go to school, not as thou the school will close as its my birthday. no one will greet me happy birthday as none seems to know about it. presents? if no one know about it you think i still have presents? haha! i also not getting any presents from my parents as they probably feel that i'm too old to get a present from them. its just a little treat at the nearby coffee shop year after year...

perhaps my birthdays were most memorable during university days as i got my ns friends (aka SADA boys as we call ourselves) and then gf to celebrate with me. however i'm always very suay as my birthday always fall into the exam period... haha!

last year i still remember my birthday was spent alone in the hostel room. dinner was self-cooked with a can of curry chicken and a packet of instant noodles and a glass of ribena. its a lonely night. my roomie also dunno its my birthday. i forgot if i ever shed a tear on that night but i think i did... yeah... imagine a 24 year old guy shedding tear(s) on his birthday... perhaps i'm too emotional...

this year is the 2nd year i'm (celebrating it) alone again. well, not really looking forward to it but its going to be here in half an hour's time anyway... i'm still as lonely. my heart seems to lack of something. its so heavy..

maybe next year i'll be happier as i would have got used to the fact that its just another day...


happy birthday to myself and to all 16th october babies! =D
if you are a 16th october baby and reading this do drop a msg here yah!