question: are guys really scared of commitment (in a relationship)?

my answer: to a considerable extent, yes.



i dunno if i'm one of the typical guys out there who belongs to this group of species where the word "commitment" seems to scare me away. maybe i'll like to stress its "serious commitment", not just normal BGR kind of commitment. well.. you may ask what is the difference between the two?

my definition:
"normal commitment" = no intention of two-timing, etc
"serious commitment" = any promises leading to marriage.

i'm not having phobia of marriage. although my dad and my mum divorced long time ago, it certainly did not leave a scar in me regarding marriage. instead, i look forward for a marriage that is long lasting, hopefully till my last breath on this earth. maybe its this that makes me feel that i need to consider very seriously on my future partner, and also, reflect on myself.

dom did tell me before that he is considering seriously being single for his life. my reaction then was "huh?! you wana stay single? why why?" perhaps he does not see himself getting hitched with a gal for life or that he feels that no gal will fulfill his basic requirements? if the above are untrue, maybe he shares the same dream as me, a long lasting relationship so much so that he dare not commit too much?

i realise that i'm a weird guy when it comes to relationship. i can be very good towards normal girl friends yet i can be simply bo chap at times towards my very own girlfriend. i dunno why i have this mentality. it may seems irrational but that is me. its 100% me. i have no answer to this behaviour till now. in addition, i used to think that i can make serious commitment. notice the words used to? yep.. thats in the past when i was younger. now, commitment is a word that i try not to associate with. i dare not make promises for the future. i dare not say that i'll certainly walk down the red carpet with someone. of coz i believe that marriage is the finale of being involved in a relationship. however, the marriage is not the end, its the beginning. perhaps the failure of so many marriages nowadays is that these couples have the wrong perception. they never realise that their few months or years of courtship is only the prelude to a much longer time being together as a couple. being together for a long time doesn't necessary mean that both need to get married or are suitable for each other for marriage. some things need not be expessed in words to be clear, its mutual. its the feeling within.

so before comitting, isn't it important to think whether is she really the one for me for the rest of my life?

also, am i really the right person for her?