below is not wat i intended to blog today.. anyway...

i lost count of the number of days that my parents are quarrelling. juz only they had a big quarrel again. aiyah.. i'm sick of it.

i dunno what happened between them. it seems like their relationship has been going downhill since a few years back, probably can back dated to the asian financial crisis in the 1998. since then they have been quarrelling more often than not about money matters. my father has been cutting down the house keeping money and my mum has not been happy since. well... although everything seems to be going fine initially, but thats not the case. they used to go out every weekend for shopping, outing. now.. they seldom go out coz they complain that they have no money. everything is changing... and sadly ..for the worst.

anyway at this stage they are together not because of love, or care and concern anymore. my stepmum commented before many times that they dun have love when they are together nearly 20 years ago. its just that she needs someone whom she thinks that can take care of her and her son, whereas my dad maybe is thinking likewise of finding someone who can take care of me as i was very young then. ta da! they are together because of that, and for 20 years! she even commented that she regretted choosing my dad as she feels that my dad is stingy. well... i won't side my dad on that coz he keeps a 'close watch' on his money. haizz... tats inherited from my grandma. sad case.. i still remember when i was young i do encounter them quarrelling but seriously its not not not not as frequently as now. last time maybe a few times a year. now is a few times a month!

from this classic example, i swear to myself: if i'm going to get married next time, i will NEVER get a spouse that i feel that she loves money (to a great extend), want to live in a very comfortable life and is willing to do anything for money. i cannot tolerate my family next time to be like what i'm facing now. i'm a down to earth person. i spend what i earn. i dun wish for a luxury life although i 'invest' occasionally on TOTO and 4D. i'll prefer my spouse to have the same mentality as me in this area, that is NOT to quarrel because of money. NEVER because of it.. coz there are other things to quarrel instead.

anyway... life sucks at home. home is not a word that i'll associate anymore.

i hope that i can land myself a job soon and work OT everyday till late late and avoid seeing them at home... well... maybe when i land myself a job, contribute some money to the well being of the family and hopefully that can shut their mouths up...

anyone know of any good family counsellor? i really feel that my family needs one urgently.. email me.