my house is having a cold war again. if i'm not wrong my parents juz ended a 3 weeks cold war only 2 weeks ago and they juz started one a few days ago. well.. wat could be the reason again? $$$ of coz! this time is abt an insurance for my brother. the insurance company sent my mum a letter to renew the policy, which cost $69/yr. my mum was initially thinking of not to renew the policy as she find it not worthwhile to pay $69/yr where the premium will not be reinbursed back. i thought thats the end of the story. when she inform her friend (the insurance agent) that she will not carry on the premium, her friend advice her to carry on and blah blah.. but my mum's reason is that we have no $$$.. she then say that its a waste to forego it as next time it will cost much more to get the same policy.. well... my mum seek my dad for the premium but my dad refuse as he says that its not worthwhile. bec of this the cold war started again... yah... for $69... fuck..!!

notice i say its "my house" that got a cold war.. not "my home". seriously i dun feel that i have a home. its juz a roof over my top where i can stay. there is practically no love nor warmth in the house. everyone in the house seems to be against one another. no one seems to be able to stand the sight of one another. you call this a home? and the cause of all these is non other than $$$. must this the plight of a poor family? not only a poor family like mine cannot enjoy all the good things of a rich family, not only we cannot live happily although we are poor, we STILL have to quarrel bec of $$$....

WAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

why is it that everyone find that $$$ is everything? must they go thru something terrible before they know that $$$ is NOT everything, but the root of evil!? must they lose something before they know that $$$ cannot buy back what they have lost?

sometimes i regret not signing on when i juz enter army. at least my education is paid for. every month i still draw a fix salary. after university still got a job. the BEST thing is i can stay in, so that i don't need to go back to such a place called "home" to face those people. i can tell you this is the main reason i want to stay in hostel, although i stay quite near to ntu. it makes me feel sick to go home after a long day to face those long faces where war can erupt anytime bec of $$$...

fuck! fuck ! fuck!

how i wish my dad did not remarry.. how i wish..

no... i don't hate rich people. i don't envy them neither. its just that they are born with a golden spoon in their mouth whereas i'm born with a plastic one. its life. whenever someone tells me that they envy rich people, they envy their rich friend got car, got big house, got everything, i don't envy. not that i'm eating sour grapes but my philosophy of life is simple:

i'll use what i earn. if i want to use more i'll work harder for it.

there is nothing proud to use your dad's car and claim it yours when you cannot afford it. if i want to buy a car i'll make sure every single thing in the car is what i worked hard for. if i want a house i'll make sure every inch of my house is my sweat and blood and i can proudly claim that its mine...