don't worry people.. i'm alrite.

well... i just feel that its my life. recently i read a friend's blog and she talks abt palm lines. i'm not a believer of it but unintentionally i start to take a look of my palms. those who have seen my palm will surely tell me this:

"hey! how come your palm got so many many lines? all are crossing one another!"

from what i heard is that the more lines your palm has, the more troubles you have. yah i think tats kinda true. my growing up process has never been smooth. family is one big problem that is always in my mind. i dun argue with my parents. i always try to do things that wun let them have a chance to "attack" me in any possible way. not bec i'm a mama boy, (well i'm never one) but i seriously dun want to create more problems for myself. i always tell my friends who have a good family relationship to treasure it coz a healthy family is never to be taken for granted.

bec of my family and the way i'm brought up, i'm a very closed up person when i was younger. i seldom talk. i do not take the initiative to make friends. in short i'm a selfish fellow. realli... my stepmum will show it in her actions that your own benefit is the most impt and i kinda inherit them when i was younger. the result of it? few friends even till after i leave jc. sad huh? from then onwards i tell myself: i've to open up. its not the way to live. her (stepmum) fucking way of educating a child is not going to work on me! she can be fucking selfish for all i care but i'm not going to follow it! over the years i've tried to change.. and i believe i succeed to a great extent. i'm still changing anyway... of coz for the better.. sadly for my brother, he has inherited her mum's bad teaching... but fuck? you think i can do anything about it? haha..

i dun do well for studies too. dun ask me how i managed to enter uni. i guess that is sheer luck and endurance. anyway dun wana talk abt studies.. sch sucks anyway!

i used to think that $$$ is very important. probably bec i'm not from a well to do family + my family is very sensitive about $$$ issues. well... you can say that my family members are not willing to share our wealth. eg my father and stepmum are very calculative over almost every single cent. tats the reason they always quarrel over monetary issues, instead of issues that will make great impact to the family. funny right? getting all the piorities wrong is what they always good at. i rather we move back to the 3-room flat that i used to stay in or downgrade to a 4-room flat to free more cash? seriously my family is not to the stage where we need to worry abt the next meal but juz that they see $$$ as the most impt element in the world, and having personal posession of it is of upmost paramount! sad... sad... i seriously feel that they need to go thru some "sad/bad things" to make them realise that family is impt, not $$$. i'm not cursing my family.. i'm juz stating a fact.. coz we human only start to realise the importance of something when we lose it, esp if $$$ cannot be the solution.. then we will look at things in a different light. btw my philosophy of $$$ is

"$$$ can buy many things, but $$$ cannot buy everything..."


what the fuck am i writing all these?

btw 30 days to exam... counting down...